Prayer is a great preventative measure and lifelong habit that can help children feel empowered as well as bring a family together. Read on for advice about how to use prayer to help discipline children in a Christian family.
Importance of Making Time for Prayer
Making time for prayer is a key component of building a loving Christian home. It can seem difficult to fit prayer into daily life for many families with reasons ranging from “we’re just too busy with work and family” to “the Bible is too abstract for young kids, they’ll learn more when they get older.” But, making prayer a regular part of family life can make a difference to the sense of connection children have to both God and their parents.
Make it more than just a time to be thankful for the food on the table or reciting “Now I lay me down to sleep.” It’s an opportunity for children to share how they are feeling and what is going on in their life. Parents can set the stage so prayer is a time for kids to talk about worries and problems and look to God and family for support and guidance. It’s also important to make sure that prayer is not forced on a child. Prayer helps promote spiritual growth and it should not be linked with coercion.
Children Misbehaving and Prayer
Encourage children to pray after they have misbehaved. Kids can feel a sense of relief and feel that they are still accepted and loved through praying for forgiveness. It’s an opportunity for children to reflect on their actions, take responsibility for them and behave better. Whenever possible, find a way to talk about a child’s strengths and the positive choices they made in a situation.
For example:
"Dear God, Jill has come forward to say that she broke the window. I give thanks that she had the courage to do the right thing and speak up instead of letting another child take the blame. Help us as we work on communicating better with each other and remembering how important honesty is within our family and at school.”
Children are looking for forgiveness from God, but it is also important for them to know that their parents forgive them too.
Spanking and Prayer
Some families have a prayer before or after a spanking. But, ideally, corporal punishment is not used in raising children. The true goal behind positive discipline is to teach children to become loving, moral and independent adults. Parents can do this best by taking firm action with a kind heart. Hitting a child might work in the short-term, but it motivates from a place of fear and it keeps children dependent on parents to decide what is right or wrong instead of learning to monitor the morality of their own behaviour.
Scripture and Raising Children
Scripture should be used to encourage and motivate a child, not shame or blame them. Parents need to think about their goal in quoting Scripture. Find stories and metaphors that help build up a child’s sense of self. A good example is David and Goliath, where a small boy with strong faith is able to be successful despite very difficult circumstances. This can be inspiring and empowering for children to hear. Quoting Scripture to make kids feel bad as a way to motivate them will likely have the opposite impact, it will leave them feeling discouraged and even disillusioned with God.
Parents Praying About Their own Misbehaviour
Parents can also pray about mistakes they have made in parenting. It is important to ask for forgiveness from God and from oneself. Praying should be seen as an act that shows a parent is motivated to make change in his or her life. If the same misbehaviours are cropping up for a parent, then it is time to take a serious look at this behaviour and find ways to prevent it from repeating. If parents want their children to change, there is no better way to role model it then for parents to make changes to improve their lives and behave better.
Pray for Patience
It’s unreasonable to expect a child to learn from every mistake, many will be repeated. Parents need only look at themselves to see how many mistakes they are still making in life. Not many people can honestly promise not to make the same mistake again. If adults cannot do so, it is a lot to expect of children. Parents might pray for an obedient child, but it is much more effective for parents to strive for and pray for being patient with their children.
Prayer is an important part of the Christian family. Children can benefit from praying for forgiveness after misbehaving, as can parents asking for forgiveness in their errors as a parent. Use Scripture to inspire and motivate children, not to make them feel poorly about themselves. Children will be making many mistakes, and many repeatedly, so praying for patience is a wise decision for parents.
Reference: Nelsen, Jane; Erwin, Cheryl; Brock, Michael; Hughes, Mary. Positive Discipline in the Christian Home: Using the Bible to Nurture Relationships, Develop Character, and Strengthen Family Values. Roseville, California: Prima Publishing, 2002.
 |
 |
 |
 |
