Teen Dating Guide for Christian Parents

Preparing Your Child When the Time Comes to Date

Dec 31, 2008

Dating is a whole new adventure for teens. Make sure you and your teen are ready for this new phase of life from a Christian perspective.

It's a new and exciting time for the teen who finds someone she is ready to date. Often times dating is innocent and cute in the beginning, with no real consequences. Eventually, though, a teen's feelings turn more serious as she gets older and finds that one special person she wants to commit to. When this time comes, will you be prepared as a parent to handle all of the physical and emotional changes that your teen will be going through?

Keep the Lines of Communication Open

Most parents have no problems communicating with small children. Boundaries can be clear when a child is young, such as "Don't touch the stove!" or "Don’t run out into the street."

But, eventually those children become teens. As a child becomes a teen, the boundaries are harder to place. You want to treat your child as a young adult, but know that there are many dangers she may not know even exist, such as pregnancy. It is more important than ever that parents keep in pace with this growth, and follow the teen into this new phase of life.

Be Prepared

As a teenager, your child no longer needs the physical energy you spent on her when she was little. She now needs your emotional energy, including your:

It is inevitable that she will become interested in the opposite sex. This will start when friendships begin to form, and attraction to one or more of these friends become stronger. Be mentally prepared for the first time your daughter comes home and says she likes a boy at school, so you will know how to approach the subject supportively.

Know What God Has to Say About It

God is love, and it is His will that people fall in love and get married (1 Corinthians 7:1-7). The journey to that kind of relationship is where some people disagree. There are some Christians who believe teens should not be dating at all, and on the other side of the spectrum those who believe that dating is the way to meet people and know when the right one comes along.

You, as a parent, must be sure how you feel about dating. Most parents fall somewhere between these two opposing views. Make sure you are confident in your views and you will find it easier to set (and enforce) the rules.

Make Sure Your Teen Knows What You Have to Say About It

Talk to your child. She needs to know your perspective on things like temptation and sex. Don't just tell your kids you feel a certain way; back it up with the Bible. Read what God has to say about:

Talk about the consequences of certain actions. Remind her that a physical relationship also involves emotions and spiritual conviction. Explain the beauty of a relationship God ordains through marriage. Begin to set some rules and explain your purpose for setting such rules.

But don't just talk, but listen. Allow your teen to ask questions, make suggestions, and have some input into the new arrangements. This will give you a great insight to where she is spiritually, and how well she stands by her faith.

Dating Mr. Wrong

A teen needs to be careful to avoid dating someone in the hopes that she can change him (a non-believer) into becoming a Christian. It may seem like a loving thing to do in the hope that she may convert him, but these relationships can be difficult to go through, especially if she winds up being the one converted out of Christianity.

Make sure your child is involved in youth activities at church. Give her plenty of opportunity to become friends with other teens that go to your church. This will help her to meet boys that share her beliefs, and may have a lot in common with. This is not to push her into dating, but at least give her a good environment of choosing a boyfriend when she is ready.

Pray When the Time Comes

Spend time in prayer when your teen starts dating. Pray for your teen and her date. An easy way to remember ways to pray for the couple is to think of words that start with the letter "S":

Things always look more promising when God is involved. Don't forget to pray. You will feel much better and more at ease knowing that your teen is in God's hands.

Train up your child. Listen to your teen. Let the strings that hold her at home out a little at a time. Teach her to make good choices, and pray for her. Also be there to listen to your teen as an exciting new world starts to open up to her. These are things you can do as a parent when teen dating begins.

The copyright of the article Teen Dating Guide for Christian Parents in Christian Parenting is owned by Denise Oliveri. Permission to republish Teen Dating Guide for Christian Parents in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.