The Christian Family and the Family Meeting

Meet Once a Week to Bond and Problem Solve as a Family

Sep 18, 2009

Family meetings let parents and kids talk about chores, solve problems, share prayer and give compliments to each other. It's an important ritual for family bonding.

Holding regular family meetings is an excellent way to keep up the lines of communication and help meet the everyday needs of everyone in the family. It’s also a time for religious reflection and instilling values on a regular basis. Family meetings can also help build a healthy and happy Christian family.

“Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another.” – Hebrews 10:25

Have a family meeting once a week, and make it more than a time for talking about whom will be doing what chores. Here are some tips to make family meetings a positive part of the family routine.

Prayer and Reading From Scriptures

Start off the meeting with a prayer, Scripture, bible story or other inspirational story. It’s a great way to set a positive tone for the gathering. Some families leave this for the end of the meeting or open and close with a reading or prayer. Rotate who will lead the prayer or Scriptural readings so that everyone in the family gets a chance at it. Prayer in the Christian family has many benefits from inspiring children to helping them feel more connected to God.

Practice Accepting and Giving Compliments

The family meeting is a wonderful time for parents and kids to share kind words with each other. The art of giving and receiving compliments is exactly that, and it’s a great skill for kids to practice. Give the kids a simple formula for giving a compliment:

“I would like to appreciate/compliment/thank (the person’s name) for (describe what they did.)”

Example: "I would like to thank mom for helping me clean up the bathroom when the toilet overflowed."

The response is easy for kids to remember. Just gracefully say, “Thank you.”

Another idea that can be used instead of be included in the meetings, is for everyone to share something positive that happened during the week.

Issues on the Agenda

Get everyone in the family involved ahead of the meeting to write down any issues or concerns. It can be a journal, a sheet of paper on the fridge or a shoebox where kids can drop off their agenda items. Sometimes there may be a lot on the agenda, and items will need to be prioritized so that less urgent matters can be dealt with the following week.

Each issue should be read out and the person who wrote it can talk about the problem and his or her ideas for a solution. Use the time to brainstorm for other ideas, and write them all down – no matter how outrageous they may seem. This helps children see that all ideas are welcome. Then discuss as a family what is the best way to go about solving the problem. It may take a while, but try to deal with issues through consensus instead of taking a vote. Voting tends to create a sense of winners and losers, and those who lose tend to be less likely to participate if they feel the decision was not theirs.

Calendar of Events

These days, with both parents working and kids involved in after school activities, it can be hard to remember what is going on each week. The meeting is a good time to go over what events are happening and to add information about upcoming ones. This can be done many ways, through a whiteboard, computer printout or an actual calendar.

Assign Chores at Family Meetings

Find a way to rotate chores each week and assign them at the meeting. Some families pull a chore from a jar while others simply have a whiteboard where names are switched through each week. Especially for younger kids, make sure to show them how each chore is done and expectations should be set according to their age and ability. If there are any disputes over chores, this is a good time to go over them.

Allowance Teaches Financial Skills

Chores should be seen as part of what it means to cooperate and be a part of a family, and ideally, kids are not given money for chores. Allowance should be seen as a separate entity where parents provide cash to help their children meet expenses and to teach them financial skills.

Celebrate the Family

End the meeting with something fun like a snack, game, story time or some other fun activity.

Family meetings can be held every week to share prayer, compliments and to deal with family issues, chores and give a heads up for coming family events. Family meetings are one of the many tools of positive discipline for Christian parents.

The copyright of the article The Christian Family and the Family Meeting in Christian Parenting is owned by Tamiko Nicholson. Permission to republish The Christian Family and the Family Meeting in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.